As I See It

THE RED DRESS

THE PARABLE OF THE RED DRESS

Gloria arose early and began her day by dressing for the most important meeting of her professional career. The advertising company she founded twenty-five years earlier was flourishing. On this much anticipated day she was meeting with the board of directors of a potential client. If she and her assistant were successful in landing a contract it would be, by far, the largest in her career. She was genuinely excited but not fearful.

She removed two of her favorite dresses from her closet –- a green one and a red one. Both dresses were designed for a professional woman and she found them equally attractive.

She stood in front of a full length mirror as she held up each dress to help in decision making she asked the question, “Which one feels better?” Very quickly she became aware that the green one felt better.

Gloria had no way of knowing that the president of the board of directors had a strong negative bias about any woman who wore red.

During the meeting Gloria and her assistant were treated with attention, dignity and respect. The president and the board were very pleased with the presentation and unanimously agreed to a lucrative, long term contract.

During the next several months Gloria and her employees met frequently with representatives of the new client. The respect and admiration for Gloria and her team reflected the quality and effectiveness of their advertising campaign. Six months into the contract the president was so impressed with the results that he scheduled a formal dinner to honor Gloria and her team.

On that fateful evening as Gloria dressed for the occasion the red dress felt better. She wore it. The bias the president had against women wearing red was changed forever.

Peace,

Bud

A Course in Miracles --- Workbook for Students

Lesson 49 -- God’s voice speaks to me throughout the day. It is quite possible to listen to God’s voice witho

TESTING SPIRITUALITY

The Process:

It is most helpful if the experimenter accepts The Law of Attraction advanced by wise men and philosophers for centuries:

"The thought is father of the deed."

· If I dwell on thoughts of sickness I shall become ill. Psychosomatic illness has been scientifically proven.

· If I dwell on fearful thoughts I shall become a frightened person.

· If I dwell on love based thoughts I shall become a happy serene, person.

Every morning for 14 days: after you are fully awake but before you begin your day, write the date on a slip of paper and list three things you would like to have happen this day. Put it in a safe place and do not refer it until day 14. MAKE THE COMMITMENT THAT TO THE BEST OF YOUR ABILITY YOU ARE ONLY GOING TO MAKE LOVE BASED DECISIONS THIS DAY,

At the end of 14 days evaluate. Did you have more ideal days?

Peace,

Bud

SPIRITUAL SIMPLICITY

“If spiritual teaching is complicated it is not from me.” Jeshua Ben Joseph (Jesus)

“Complexity is born of the world, and not from the mind of God.” The Way of Mastery, Page 143

· There are only two basic human emotions, Love and Fear. i.e., The emotions of hate, anger, greed, vengeance, jealousy, guilt, distrust and self-pity are derivatives of fear. The emotions of tolerance, generosity, kindness, patience, trust, and self-respect are derivatives of love.

· Love and Fear are opposites and co-variables. They are opposites because you cannot be fearful and loving at the same time and if love increases fear decreases.

· I have full responsibility regarding the amount of love or fear I have: If I make more love based decisions I live with more love and vice-versa.

· The only control I have in life is my thoughts. When I have fear based thoughts I can choose again!

Peace,

Bud

Desire Clarification, Part II

STEP TWO – INTENTION

Now set action objectives. (More specific than goals)

· Objectives are:

o Attainable

o Very specific

o Measurable

o Start and completion dated

STEP THREE –- ALLOW

· If one of your objectives doesn’t work it is not a FAILURE. It is a stepping stone toward what will work. (Remember Edison’s search for a light bulb filament.) Begin again.

STEP FOUR – SURRENDER

· This step is for those who have Spiritual belief and choose to use their Greater Power --- ask for guidance.

Desire Clarification, Part I

MANAGING STRESS IN OUR MATURE YEARS

Several decades ago Canadian psychologist, Hans Selye wrote a best-selling book about stress. His perception was, as I recall it, that stress motivates us to do things and is not a bad thing unless we allow ourselves to become distressed. That is perhaps a useful play on words, but I prefer to use the term “desire” rather than stress. In simple terms, if you are thirsty you desire water and you will seek it –- if you are hungry your desire might motivate you to go to your refrigerator.

Some time ago I made a promise to write an article on stress for a professional newsletter. It Is my desire to fulfill my commitment. If I delay or procrastinate in responding to my desire to keep my promise I will probably be stressed or in Selye’s use of words become “distressed.”

If we have that uncomfortable feeling in our gut (fear) it is to alert us that something is amiss. The purpose of this discomfort is to get our attention. If we react to this awareness by becoming stressed you can be sure that we are being moved by ego-based fear. If we continue to entertain fearful thoughts the fear will cause us to become stressed (or in Selye’s opinion distressed).

Step one in the process of overcoming this discomfort is to allow –- or “own” this thought. In the teaching of A Course In Miracles, embrace it.

Please keep one thing in mind: The only place I have real control over my life is my thoughts. If I dwell on my fear-based reaction I am stressed. It is well to remember that the Law of Attraction is very real –- if I continue to entertain fear based thoughts what am I attracting? If I ask, “What can I do about this?” The message here is: I can choose again, replace the fear-based, negative thought with a positive one!

When my discomfort causes awareness that something is “out of kilter” I can choose to respond rather than react. To respond is to thoughtfully think through the situation causing the discomfort and rationally decide what I am going do about it. In Ekhart Tolle’s book The Power of Now is the following process, paraphrased a bit: Accept [allow] whatever is happening as if you had planned it in every detail. Don’t fight it. Work with it, not against it [don’t fear it]. Then, if possible and appropriate take action. This will change your very life.

Many philosophers have told us: The thought is father of the deed. Said another way, once we have accepted any thought as valid the behavior to support it is automatic. If the thought originated as a fear-based reaction –- from stress –- and you continue to entertain it, you will live with more fear-based stress, not less. We can discipline ourselves to choose again. The same psychological dynamic applies to positive (love)-based thoughts -– when we “own” them our behavior will support them!

CLARIFYING DESIRE

I have found the following described exercise to be unbelievably useful in helping me decide what I really, really, REALLY desire. When we are actively pursuing a strong desire it is likely that stress will disappear.

I am referring to The Way of Mastery, ( another spiritual self-help book) Chapter 4 -- DESIRE IS EVERYTHING. This exercise also introduces us to the very important element of ALLOWING. The rationale for this exercise is that unless we are absolutely clear on our desire, the second step, intention, will be fuzzy at best and probably impotent -- then the whole thing goes away and we have done nothing to assuage our stress. The other two steps in this process are allowing and surrender.

This is an activity that will enable you to be clearer on your desires than ever before and will only take you about 15 minutes in the morning for 7 mornings - – they need not be consecutive.

STEP ONE –- CLARIFYING DESIRES

· In the morning, after you are fully awake but before beginning your normal activities take a piece of paper and enter the date at the top.

· Next, list 7 things that you really, really desire at that time. They need not be prioritized, just strongly desired.

· Do this for 7 mornings without referring to the previous lists.

· Put the lists in a drawer and do not refer to them until the 8^th day.

· On the 8^th day take the seven lists (49 desires) and on a separate sheet of paper categorize or “batch” them. (My review of my 47 desires boiled down to just 5. One of them was clearly much more important than the other 4.)

· Decide which desire(s) you choose to bring to reality.

Please come back next week for action steps on HOW to bring your desire(s) to reality.

Peace,

Bud.

Who is the Giver?

· Giving and receiving are the same --- A Course In Miracles

WHO IS THE GIVER

Who is the giver, he who can divest?

Or he who is receiving with thanks he can express?

I won’t complain about the past, the future I don’t know,

but just today I think I see forever in the glow.

The chance for us to learn and grow is always opportune, tomorrow is just a breath away and is yesterday so soon.

We waste and fret and stress ourselves and miss the beauty known.

We rush right past the quiet part and wonder what went wrong.

But time we have in like amount, to love the life we’re living. We have enough and will complete if we can learn of giving.

We know we need the heat and cold and the snow and rain, There’s something else we need to know:

GIVING AND RECEIVING ARE THE SAME

Who is the giver, She who can divest?

Or she who is receiving, with thanks she can express?

Peace,

Bud

A special note: The audiobook version of CHANGING PLACES is now available through Audible, iTunes, and Amazon. Click HERE for the Amazon link.

AN ESSAY ON "RIGHT THINKING"

Motivation research has demonstrated that, for most people, money is not a primary motivator. So, why do people work? The simplest answer, and perhaps the best, is that people work to satisfy their needs, wants, and desires. Let’s consider these one at a time:

· Needs -- necessary for survival

· Wants -- not necessary for survival but in the same category

· Desires -- Includes things money cannot buy

Now let us ask, What will motivate people who are not dissatisfied with what they have to greater levels of productivity? The answer is: Any event that increases feelings of self-worth and confidence. We want things that money can buy but we also desire things money cannot buy. To take this thought process to its next higher level let us now consider being Agenda Driven and it’s near opposite, Mission Driven.

Agenda Driven

In our culture we are taught from an early age that to be a winner is highly desirable and that winners are strongly goal oriented people. When we clarify our goals we have identified predetermined outcomes that we want--- be they needs, wants or desires. When we have an agenda it is primarily designed to satisfy our needs, wants, and/or desires. Let us remember what the sales training guru Zig Ziglar taught: “The way to get what you want is to help others get what they want.”

Mission Driven

When we are responding to our nobler emotions our genuine concern is, How can I serve? It has been scientifically demonstrated that positive thoughts have positive energy and this energy creates an emotional environment affecting all people who are in that field of energy, as the following story demonstrates:

I was conducting a sales and team building seminar for a group of real estate sales people in an outstanding ERA, INC practice in Bangor, Maine. When I introduced the concept of being Mission Driven as a sales technique several sales people made comments to the effect that being mission driven couldn’t work in real estate. When the last of the opposition to the concept had been voiced a petite, gray-haired, grandmotherly lady stood up and said, “I’ve never referred to it as being mission driven but that has been my sales technique for the past several years. I came to adopt this style quite by accident. One month I had the good fortune to exceed my monthly sales goal in the first week. For the rest of that month, with each potential client, I concentrated on “how can I help this person?” I had never experienced such appreciation and acceptance as I did for the remainder of that month and I have never deviated." The sixty-five year old lady had been the top sales person in the agency for three consecutive years!

Peace,

Bud

Experience Resume - Partial

Bud's current involvement is as a platform speaker, consultant to private businesses and public institutions, author, and executive coach on the topics of management, leadership, and trust-based relationships. He also sponsors personal and spiritual growth groups and wilderness adventure seminars for business and health professionals.

Mr. Ham has served as consultant, confidante and counselor for more than thirty-five years to executives and professional people. He has lectured in Great Britain, Mexico, throughout Canada, and in 49 states. He was a member of a teaching delegation of health professionals, sponsored by the China-U.S. Exchange, who visited six hospitals in the Peoples Republic of China. He refers to himself not as one with answers, but one who can help his client friends identify their alternatives and maximally utilize all of their resources, including spiritual resources, in their professional and personal lives. These factors uniquely qualify him to make meaningful contributions to organizational effectiveness. He is a devoted family man, a hunter, an avid fly-fisherman, a gardner, a horseman, an author and a poet.

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